A Toxic Cloud Hovers over RDU

Last night I went to meet some friends for dinner at Jason’s Deli in Durham. The whole ride out there was somewhat surreal because everyone was driving annoyingly slow and this hazy cloud of yellow “sand” was blanketing the skies. I don’t think the blinding pollen swarm was responsible for the slow driving, but perhaps the allergy medication of the drivers was to blame. Regardless, a short 10 mile drive took over 30 minutes. (Drivers around here really need to pull their heads out of their asses.)

During the meal, a disagreement arose over whether it was possible to use MP3 files as ringtones on certain mobile phones. I asserted that this was possible, but that it was a hodgepodge of exclusive phones; some which accept .wav files, some .mp3s and some midi. So we wanted to go to Best Buy to have their highly-technical sales staff settle the argument. The distance between the deli and the electronics store is roughly equivalent to three city blocks. Thinking we were invincible, we set off to find answers to our important questions.

We didn’t even get 10 steps into the journey before the biggest puskit of the group started crying about “Oh, my eyes! I can’t see!! My eyes hurt! Waaahhh!!!” After getting summarily ridiculed and putting contact lenses into one’s filthy mouth, we were back on the path to Best Buy. But with each vehicles passing, more toxic pollen dust would scatter and we would have to relive the whole temper tantrum experience. Everyone else’s eyes were getting clogged, but only one of us was having a seizure over it. Halfway to our destination, I contemplated turning back because the whining was too much to bear, but since we had come this far it only seemed natural to finish the quest.

When we finally made it the 900 or so feet to the store, we saw that the doors were blocked with metal gates and the remaining employees stood inside laughing at us — blinded and beaten by the pollen sirocco. By this point, none of us could see, we had completely run out of water and Jay J had already consumed his ice cream cone topped with pollen sprinkles. The situation was getting desperate, but I knew that we couldn’t panic. If we panicked, we’d be dead meat out at the No Hope Commons and surely the buzzards and bats would begin their gruesome flight patterns overhead.

Thankfully, we all made it back to our automobiles and I was able to free myself from the noisy shackles of Sir Whines-A-Lot. The drive home was the exact same experience, but I could actually discern that the pollen haze was growing thicker and angrier. I am hiding in my house until this health epidemic passes.

The first picture is of a car hood that is supposed to be black. You can see how aggressively the yellow mess bonds to paint (or anything outside). The next image offers more perspective into the terrible suffering caused by nature. First cold and now poison. What’s next?

UNC Wins! (I Guess That's Good?)

Just about every person in North Carolina spent all day in a hazy blue cloud of burgers and beers and anticipation for what I can only assume to be the Super Bowl of college basketball. All I know is, don’t park anywhere in Chapel Hill during the 36 hours surrounding the event. If it doesn’t get towed, it will probably get rolled. And smashed. And occasionally burned. Rule #1 of Carolina Basketball — Protect your ride.

On my bus ride home, I could see huge lines outside every bar with a TV in town. Must have been close to a thousand people all wearing some charming composition of Carolina Blue. This was at 5:10 PM. Anyway, I’m really glad that they got their victory, otherwise I’d be fearing for much more widespread and vicious property damage. Hopefully no one got hurt in the fracas. Rule #2 of Carolina Basketball — Don’t plan on dining out during the game or ensuing riot.

Tonite I ate dinner at The Loop with an old Auburn buddy. On our way out we saw Fred and Chelcy sitting down and Fred asked if we were going to watch the game. In responding, inadvertently I had to speak over the table of a family just seated. After I said “Nah. I think we’re gonna rent a movie or something.” I glanced down to notice the entire family staring up in doe-eyed disbelief, as if what I were saying could not possibly be thought or spoken aloud. Rule #3 of Carolina Basketball — Never admit in public that you won’t be watching the game.

Besides the unnecessary but prevalent bonfires, property damage, trash, broken glass, traffic, noise and potential bodily harm I really love living in a basketball town. It reminds me of college, living in a football town, and going thru the same thing every Fall. W00t! UNC Won! And I think its about time for all these kids to simmer down right meow.

Plik Meetup Durham

Late today I received notice from Joey O that Lyrics Born would be performing at Duke Coffeehouse in just a few hours. Once I got my laundry chores done, I said “What the hell?” and was plopped into the center of the indie hip-hop vortex that is Durham. Thankfully, all of the Durmites refrained from stabbing me up long enough to enjoy the show. Lyrics Born definitely rocked the house and he seemed like a pretty chill guy (What up, Bay Area?), but the group that came on before him was smokin’. Heiruspecs reminded me a lot of the Roots and had some fly MCs. These guys were tight. I can’t wait to listen to the cds I picked up from them at the show.

Here is a picture of Joey O sayin’ “Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!” along with a roomful of college students. (I think I was actually the oldest person there. D’oh!)

After the show, we had an impromptu plik meetup at the Disappearing Bar. Thank goodness it didn’t disappear while we were inside.

Bottoms up from your favorite l337 IRC channel.

So What Would You Say You Do Here?

It seems like people are always asking me “What do you do?” And by this, they mean what do I do for work. Interesting phenomenon, nonetheless I thought I would try to set the record straight. I spend most of my time doing this because that is what pays the big bucks.

Right now I’ve also got some big time networking gigs happening. I’ve been thinking about getting back into technical training. Still workin’ for the city, you know. Keepin’ a little change in my pocket.

Additionally, I’ve found a great online bible study group and have been spending a lot of time refamiliarizing myself with the scriptures.

Yours in April Foolery.