Furry Fetish Freakshow Descends Upon UNC
Posted: December 14th, 2005 | Author: dave m. | Filed under: local, photography, random | 8 Comments »
Last Wednesday (Dec 7 2005) I walked out of the library and noticed a group of students talking to a human-sized skunk. The skunk was not talking to the group, but instead kind of miming responses. I had to laugh and quickly reach for my camera. Well, the gig was up and the skunk knew something I didn’t.
Namely that he had two friends waiting around the corner. So, the skunk closed in from the right while his elephant and chipmunk buddies blocked my other escape routes. I thought “This is it. This is the end.” Instead of a vicious thrashing, they just mildly abused me as I passed on by The Pit.
It was at that moment I realized this was not the Great Animal Uprising as predicted in the scriptures. And these were not the brave human-sized animal warriors said to free us from the shackles of the Earth. Instead, they were just Vegas-grade furry fetish perverts intent on frotteurizing members of the UNC community.
Someone really should call the cops.